Ways To Adjust To A Blended Family

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Are you a tad bit nervous about blending both families together in one household after marriage? Well, here’s some tips on ways to adjust to a blended family.

If you are  entering into a family with children and you have little to no experience

  •   You want to first start with understanding children
  •   Watch Videos
  •   Read Books
  •   Talk to parents about parenting
  •   Spend time with Children
  •   Volunteer with children groups
  •   Interact with children in your family
  •   Interact with friends children in order to observe children at different ages and in different environments
  •   Offer to babysit or take children on outing

Your role as a parent

You are the adult and the child should know that you are the adult. It’s ok to play and bond with the child but too much playing will cause a child to think you are a big kid. When children view you as a big kid they stop respecting you. The children should address you in a certain manner that shows respect.

Establish Ground Rules

Parenting does not come with a How- to-Manual so you have to come up with rules to incorporate each parent’s style. You want to agree on what rules will stay or go. You want to incorporate the rules into your daily lives and make changes accordingly.  You want to keep children balanced and on routines no matter what household they are in. Never make one sided decisions it often leads to chaos and confusion.  It can also turn parents against one another and causes them to compete with one another.

Come together (family meetings, plan & bonding)

I know people are busy and have conflicting schedules but you have to come together as a family. Time should be spent with all members of the family at least once a week. Bonding is very important in any family and relationship. There should also be family meetings. The meetings will open communication. You don’t want anyone to be distant or quiet in your family. Family meetings help with the goals of the family, rules can be discussed or altered and issues/suggestions addressed.

NEVER SHOW FAVORITISM

Favoritism is an absolute NO! There will be a natural separation from your biological child and your step child but it should never be shown.  The easiest thing would be to create an equal platform for both you and the children to go by.

DISCIPLINARY ACTIONS

This is a problem in blended families where division comes in. Parents want to discuss every time that a disciplinary action takes place. They should decide what the proper action is together. One should never say “That’s your child…Handle It”.In some cases the other parent needs to be contacted as well to get a proper input on what is going to happen with their child. It’s important that all parents are on one accord when disciplining so that no one feels discipline is not equal.

These are just a few ways to adjust to a blended family. I recommend family counseling before the blended family occurs and during if needed but the key to a successful blended family is good communication, bonding and understanding.

Can you help someone? Share your story of how you blended your family after marriage. Email us at info@naturalhairbride.com

blended family pic

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