Your first year of marriage can be your worst year or your best year. What I came to realize is that communication is one of the main contributors to the fate of your first year. For me, lack of proper communication was our biggest initiator to the conflicts my husband and I experienced. He would say one thing and I would hear another. I would say one thing and he would hear the complete opposite. It was like speaking two completely different languages but still trying to get our point across.
Have you ever been in a conversation with your spouse and you wondered, â€œWhat in the world is he talking about?â€ or the point you was trying to make went straight pass him and youâ€™re wondering, â€œHow in the world did he come up with that interpretation based off what I said?â€When that happens we as women automatically assume they are not listening when most likely we did not communicate properly. After my husband and I began to implement the philosophies that I am about to share with you into our marriage, intentionally and repetitively, we began to experience more peace, joy and excitement with each other and in our home.
1st PHILOSOPHY: I UNDERSTAND THERE IS A TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING
Coming into the room at 11:00pm when your spouse had a long day, tired and wanting to go to sleep is most likely not the best time to ask him why he did not take the garbage out, why is the lawn still not mowed, or bring up something that has been frustrating you all day. That creates an atmosphere for CGW (Conversation Gone Wrong). Of course there are times when a conversation just cannot wait and it has to be brought up no matter how long it may take and what time or place it is. When you have those types of situations if you are the initiator you will have to realize the time and place you are bringing this conversation to him by simply saying, for example, â€œHi baby, I know you had a long day and you may be tired but I have something very important to me that I need to talk to you about. May I have your attention so we can talk?â€ You are empathizing with how he may feel at the moment, you are letting him know this conversation is very important to you and you are allowing him to choose to participate at 100%.
2nd PHILOSOPHY: MY OBJECTIVE IS TO NOT BE RIGHT BUT TO DO WHATâ€™S BEST
You are not single anymore so your decisions, mostly, no longer affects you alone. Many arguments arouse out of regular conversation because somebody tries to be right or when making a decision that affects both spouses you want to make the decision that is best for you instead of whatâ€™s best for your marriage. Having an end goal of doing what is best for your marriage and willing to compromise will tremendously help to bring or keep peace, passion and joy in your home.
3rd PHILOSOPHY: I AM EXCITED TO EXPERIENCE HEART-FELT COMMUNICATION WITH MY SPOUSE
The â€œhere we go againâ€ attitude only damages your love relationship in your marriage. To haveÂ fulfillmentÂ within yourÂ communication with your spouse you have to be excited about talking to him, hearing what he has to say, sharing your feelings and initiating communication with him. The excitement keeps you going and wanting to experience more with your spouse.
Once you implement and use these philosophies your marriage will increase and go to a whole new level and your 1st year will be one of many of your best years!
Yasmine BrownÂ is the owner ofÂ Focus Your Strive, a womenâ€™s development company to help women move from one place in her life to the next, founder ofÂ Beauties On Successful Strives (BOSS), a womenâ€™s empowerment organization for women who go for hers no matter what, boldly and have FUN doing so, and author ofÂ Love: Answers to a New Beginning, womenâ€™s empowerment guide to a better You.Â
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Be Sure To Read:Â AFTER THE KNOT: 3 KEY WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE BLISSFULâ€‹